I was tangentially involved in a scam of sorts, with a world famous model/television personality. I don’t remember her name because a confidentiality clause forbids my disclosure of her name and I don’t want to be sued. Charity starts at home, but in Los Angeles every night, in every hotel ballroom in town, some professional philanthropist or some popular disease is being honored. Many of these events are hosted by celebrities to assure a sellout; none really need to hire a magician, but some do. Sometimes I’ll do those for nothing to support organizations I’m fond of. It was the fall of 2011 when I received a phone call from someone in New York offering me a job at a benefit to be held just minutes from Magicopolis, in Santa Monica. The pleasant voice on the phone said, in part, “This is a small boutique event and it’s important you look very ‘magishinee’ like you do in your pictures on the Magicopolis website.”
I e-signed an agreement, and the next day I received a FedEx with payment in full and details of the event. I deposited the check but took only a quick glance at the details, since the show date was several weeks away. On the appointed day at 10:00 a.m. I arrived at a small children’s bookstore on Montana Avenue. The walls were decorated with original artwork and prints from books like Stuart Little, Charlotte’s Web, Peanuts comics, and all things Seuss.
I was greeted warmly by a woman from the public relations firm that hired me. The lady was sweet and apologetic when she said, “We may not need you, but if we do, it will only be as background eye candy.” I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I said something to the effect of “no worries” and found a quiet corner to wait and see what would happen. Also on site were three cameramen with three corresponding entertainment news reporters.
Shortly thereafter about ten kids and their moms appeared. They were seated on the floor in front of a large stuffed chair and everyone was given a gift bag. The kids were delighted with little teddy bears, cookies, and lollipops. The mom’s swag bags had soap, perfume, and makeup samples.
Next a world famous model/television host appeared. I’ll call her “Star.” She sat comfortably in the large stuffed chair. The children were attentive and the quiet was deafening. Then the lights became very bright and the cameras started to roll. Star picked up a copy of Cat in the Hat and started reading aloud.
And then, on cue, in the middle of the first line, she stopped reading, the lights went down, the cameras stopped rolling, and the kids and moms were excused. Total time lapse was about five minutes.
The remaining people and equipment were rearranged and the reporters each had a brief on-camera chat with Star. And that was it. The entire ordeal, from start to finish, was over and done in under an hour. Had I been needed, I’m told they would have gotten a shot or two of me doing some tricks for the kids.
This pretend benefit, or whatever it was supposed to be, was in reality just a publicity stunt that used the cause as a hook to put the eyes of the nation on Star. That evening on television, here’s how the entertainment programs covered the event:
Anchor boldly announces: “Star champions overcoming childhood illiteracy worldwide at a benefit in Santa Monica, California. For more on this story here’s our on-location field reporter . . . ”
Upbeat music played as we saw exterior/interior shots of the cute kid’s bookstore and close-ups of intrigued children and moms.
Reporter: “I’m at a glorious family-friendly benefit here in this cute kid’s bookstore where world famous model/television host Star is taking time out of her busy schedule to raise awareness for a cause that’s close to her heart…”
Footage of Star reading aloud, before they cut to the reporter, who was dripping with TV host affection: “It’s all about the kids, isn’t it Star?”
Star pursed her lips while looking deeply into the camera lens and answered: “That’s right. It’s all about kids overcoming illiteracy because learning to read is critical to a child’s success.”
Reporter: “I couldn’t agree more Star, and I must say that when I watched you reading to those kids you were absolutely glowing.”
Star: “That’s partly because of my new skin care line coming to abc or xyz boutiques this spring. And the fine folks at def stores would think it’s a crime if I didn’t let all my fans know that this polka dot outfit I’m wearing, along with all Star styles, fashions, accessories—including my new signature shoes and sunglasses—are available right now at def stores worldwide.”
Cut to anchor: “Thanks for that on-location report. Be sure to watch Star’s hit show on the xyz network every Tuesday at 9:00 p.m. We’ll be back after this . . . ”
I guess the lesson to be learned here is that it feels good helping children. I wished Star well, not only on the overcoming illiteracy project, but also in the sufficient attainment of future publicity—at least as much publicity as is necessary to hire me to appear at another family-friendly benefit.
